how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
as a side note pls kill me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize