btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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