Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
