she smelled like a LAN party
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
