Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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