I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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