My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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