I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
