I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
