i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
