My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
