what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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