you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
