it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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