I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
