Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
