3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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