It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
