Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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