she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
