Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
