what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
