The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
