I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
should my penis look like a turkey
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
