When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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