Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
