I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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