Barsexuality is the new black.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His nipple licking is glorious
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