also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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