i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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