Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
