just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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