it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
