let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I enjoy the company of your penis
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
