As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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