I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
