Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
