I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
