STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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