Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
