I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
