that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
