think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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