Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
