I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
