please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
