Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
