How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
