My nipple is on Facebook.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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