genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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